Crossfit vs. Comfort Idol. Game On.

{I have entirely too many thoughts on this subject for one post…so here come a few!}

I love this definition of an idol: a mere image or semblance of something, visible but without substance, as a phantom.

This is my comfort idol. Incredibly real, yet unseen.

My comfort idol is ginormous, happy buddha ginormous. Merry when appeased, vicious when denied. I have spent a good portion of my life making sure this guy is content. You want more food? Sure. You want more drink? No problem? You want to be lazy? You deserve it. You want to be angry, sad, mean, selfish, rude? You can’t help how you feel. You want to quit? I get it. Do it. It wasn’t meant for you to do.

On and on. It gets anything and everything it wants. I keep it happy, it keeps me happy.

Or does it?

There are so many things in life I want to do, but don’t because it feels awful. I hate to feel awful. I hate to eat healthy, because let’s face it, that is not the Southern way. I hate to get up early and read, because I don’t like to feel tired the rest of the day. I hate to do things I am not good at, because I hate to feel incompetent.
But the truth is, I want to be healthy, I want to be a reader, I want to try new things. But with my hungry, hungry hippo comfort idol, I will never be or do these things. Something has to go. I can’t have both.

But how will I ever be these things I so desperately want to be? How will I ever face my fears of doing anything uncomfortable or new? How will I ever grow if I am not willing to face pain? I can’t spend the rest of my life dodging anything and everything that feels the slightest bit awful.

Even right now. I am feeling uncomfortable about writing these things. Did I mention that it’s a little too cold in here and my eyes are getting a little tired, my stomach is rumbling a little bit and I can’t figure out what word is next? Ugh. I want to quit this right now.

This guy needs a serious stab in the gut.

So, I joined Crossfit. If you know me, you know this is the most insane thing you have read today. I don’t work out. I definitely don’t work out with actual weights. I don’t spend money on a class that someone else has full control and tells me when it begins and ends and what kind of movements to do and how much harder I need to push myself.

This is how I feel when I work out: click here. Because this is shamefully true (and embarrassingly accurate), I knew it was exactly what I needed.

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One thought on “Crossfit vs. Comfort Idol. Game On.

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